Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-one . . .

I'll be 31 in a little over two months.  Turning 30 was not a big deal to me and I didn't do any soul searching about what the hell am I doing with my life, what is my path, and will I ever get married/have kids/find the right career/etc.  I've got the big stuff figured out and nailed down.  Married - check.  Child - check.  House - check.  Meaningful and loving relationships with friends and family - check. Stay at home mom as a career - awesome check.

As I approached 30, and after the day came and went, I started to think about the little things about myself.  Things that in my 20s I would do/say/act/pretend(!) because it was beneficial to life and school/career and relationships.

#1 on the list was socializing with others.  Believe it or not, I am not an overly social person.  I love meeting new people, visiting with friends and family, going out and about and attending events and parties.  But . . . I like doing it on my own terms.  M and I have parties and get togethers and it's always a blast and I'm totally comfortable.  I make the rules, set the tone, and invite who I want.

My husband is involved with several organizations that require a lot of wining and dining and kiss-assing.  I like wining.  A lot.  And dining.  But, once again, on my own terms (apparently I also like wHining).  I am almost always a good sport and go along with M to whatever he has to do and force myself to be social. The events usually end up being quite tolerable, if not fun.  After some wining and dining (more so the wining), I am more comfortable and feel more at ease to play nicely with others.

Approaching 30, I decided I don't have to get my anxiety in a tizzy because of a social event.  I am who I am.  After becoming a mom, I became more accustomed to my own skin.  Not the skin other people think I should be wearing, or even the skin I think I should be wearing for the situation.  Which leads me to #2 on my list.

Judging others. 

We all judge others in one way or another.  I rarely judge based on looks/dress/career/etc.  Usually it's personality.  There are personalities I instantly click with.  And then theres's the personalities that leave me with welts on my tongue. . 

So people end up in one of three categories in the Rolodex in my brain:
1. I like/love you and want to be your BFF forever and ever and ever. Amen.
2. I tolerate you and/or I am going to have to meet you again to see which category you belong.
3. I hate you.  Don't look at me. 

Now let's realize that while you may fall in Category 2 or 3, I will outwardly show you kindness and respect like those in Category 1.  I'm not a total bitch.

The problem that arises when putting your card in my mental Rolodex is that sometimes it goes in the wrong place.  For example, Category 1, over time, ends up a Category 3.  And vice versa. I have lived through both scenarios several times.  On almost all accounts, it was an issue of mistaken personality identity, for instance at a social event where beer/wine make you look fine, and liquor makes you friends quicker.  Or they are super confident the first time you meet, but then you come to find out they are actually super needy.  Talk about awkward.  I've been on both sides and both are equally shitty.

Thirty has taught me to be ME.  If you don't like me, that's okay.  Really, it is.  But get to know me first.  You may be surprised. Or dissapointed.  Or delighted.  Or horrified.  I don't know.  But, I promise you'll get the real me.  Not the me I thought I had to be in the situation we were in.  And I guarantee I'll give you the same respect.

Thirty is good. I think thirty-one will be even better. 

Back to blogging . . .

I've been considering getting back into blogging. I do enjoy it and now that J is older, I have more time to blog. Also, I hit the big 3-0 this year and the milestone has prompted some self reflection. Hope those of you following will continue following!

Bad guys, happy guys and the Bible

For the past year, J has been very fond of any story, movie, television show, or imaginative play involving bad guys and "happy" (good) guys. Although we've read the Bible almost everyday since he was about 1, it wasn't until recently that he's really become interested in the stories. Daniel and the Lion's Den, Samson, and Jonah and the Big Fish have been favorites since day 1. Now, the story of the crucifixion, Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, David and Goliath, and Moses have become more interesting, and we read them several times a day in addition to the regular two or three stories we read daily. J can retell many of the stories (although sometimes he uses bears or pirates as the characters since he can't remember all the proper names).

This past week J has been interested in the story of Adam and Eve and, more particularly, Satan. He comprehends that Satan is "bad" and tricked Eve, and thus Adam, into eating the apple. But the thought that Satan "exists" in the world today is a foreign idea to J. When we talk about Satan, he says "Satan is in the book Mommy, not here in our house. Or even out there" (in the yard/neighborhood). I always respond with "sure he is. He makes people do bad things." J is adamant that there are no bad people around here. I've been thinking about how to convince him that Satan is very much real and very much present in the world around us.

And then I realized I don't have to. In his short 3.5 years, J hasn't come across anyone or anything bad. He is loved by his family and friends, has a happy, stable homelife, and has never seen or been on the receiving end of anything unkind. His world starts in our house and extends as far away as where my parents live (half an hour from our house). He thinks they live "far away". My parent's house and Florida could be the same place. They're both "far away".

Wars around the globe. Murder. Child abuse. He neither sees, nor hears about these events. And he doesn't need to know. There are far too many children (and adults), who see the workings of Satan every.single.day. of their lives. If I could keep J in a bubble his whole life, and blow and direct the bubble toward only the good, fun, happy, successful things to experience, I would do it in a heartbeat. Yeah, 'you have to know the bad to know the good'. That's fine for me, but not for my baby.

You know what? You're right, J. Satan only exists as a snake in the Bible. For now. And when you're a little older, a little wiser in the ways of the world, we'll talk. For today, and tomorrow, and maybe even for the next few years: your world is perfect. I'll keep watch with my mommy powers, making sure no bad comes to you. Someday you'll have to put on your own armor and fight your own fight against Satan and the world.

But today? Today, let's play superheroes and save the world.

It's a Wonderful Life

I didn't title my blog It's A Wonderful Life because of the movie. Nope, it's because I consider my life to be pretty wonderful. It's only 9 am and already I love how this day is going. Here are some highlights:

*J wakes me up around 7:30, talking a mile a minute about how he's going to put the Nintendo DS in my purse, how he's cold, and how he's going to get clothes out of his dresser.

*J leaves my room, then comes back a few minutes later with some random clothes in his hands. He puts on his underwear, and then holds up the pants he picked out. Except it's a shirt. "A shirt? Oh yeah, it's a shirt. Need pants.", he said to no one but himself, and he ran back to his bedroom.

*J returns to put on his Elmo print pajama bottoms to 'match' his pirate t-shirt and then finishes off the outfit with a green sock and a blue sock.

*We come downstairs and I let the cat in the house from it's halfway house in the garage (that's a whole 'nother post for another day).

*J sits down to eat his cereal and the cat jumps up on the chair with him. The dog is none too pleased because he is the one who gets the scraps. And being that he's 80 lbs, he can't get a whole lot closer than sitting right beside J's chair. Dog glares at cat.

*J, who thinks the cat is getting a little too close while he's eating, keeps saying "no-no kitty. down kitty" and then kisses it on its head everytime he puts it back down on the floor.

*The cat loves our dog, our dog tolerates (but secretly loves) the cat, and J loves to chase and be chased by the cat and the dog. Chaos ensues.

*The dog chases the cat and gets too close to it and rolls it over. The cat jumps up and smacks the dogs nose with his paw. Dog looks shocked.

*Jack chases cat. Dog chases Jack and cat. I sit at the kitchen table with my laptop. Pure bliss!

It really is a wonderful life!!

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss

What a great quote! My cousin posted this on Facebook today as her status and I absolutely love it! It's a great way to look at the ups and downs of life.

I am a planner. I make lists and more lists and lists of lists to make. In fact, before our week long beach vacation, I had 10 different lists going. Planning = good. But it also means that after a big event that I look forward to for weeks and months on end, I am letdown when it's over. No more planning and getting excited. Just back to everyday life.

Our vacation has come and gone. On our last day at the beach my husband and I stood together looking out at the ocean. I said, "Goodbye ocean. At least til we meet again at another time and another place." My husband just laughed and said, "uhhh, goodbye ocean. I guess." He apparently doesn't know that the ocean can hear you and looks forward to your return. I will admit that as excited as I was to get home and see our furry child who I missed very much, I was sad to be leaving the beach and ending our vacation.

But, I reminded myself that there will be plenty more vacations. And we can always come back to this exact spot.

I didn't cry because it was over, I smiled because it happened. It's the seasons of life. You look forward to it, you live it, you look back on it. Sometimes the cycle happens in days, sometimes it's a lifetime.

But keep smiling!

Mother Nature

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today, life is good today

This week we've been on vacation at the beach. I have watched my little boy feel the power of the ocean as it pulls and pushes against him. I have watched his eyes light up with excitement with one wave, and his eyes darken with fear of the next.

Mother Nature is not to be fooled with.

This week, the beach has been kind of crazy. Due to thunderstorms and a tropical storm out at sea, the water is unseasonably cold and the surf is very, very rough. We are in the Outer Banks, and apparently where we are there is a convergence of currents. So not only do the waves come at you head on, but also from the sides. It takes all your strength to stay upright when the waves hit you.

Yesterday, jellyfish invaded the beaches. There were hundreds of them laying on the beach and more in the waves. We stayed away for fear of getting stung (even though most of them were probably already dead from the strength of the surf).

I love the beach. I love the roar of the waves, the warmth of the sun, the push and pull of the water around my body and the feel of the sand sticking to my sunscreen clad body. I love watching my son and husband digging holes and building sandcastles in the warm sand.

But there are dangers: rip currents, sharks, jellyfish, getting swept out to sea. But such is Mother Nature. She gives us the beauty of the earth, the circle of life, babies (mammalian and otherswise) and seasons filled with colors and smells that thrill the soul.

She also gives up hurricanes, tornadoes, death and famine. It is a double edged sword that we both love and hate, depending upon the day.

As I played with my son in the waves, I encouraged him to have fun, but never, ever turn your back to the ocean. It will get you every time you let your guard down.

And such is life.

Western Pennsylvania. Beautiful scenery. Rich heritage. Neighborly people. Not much to do when you're a teenager.



Throughout my early to mid-teens, I was convinced that when I was old enough, I was going to move to California. Why California? I don't know. We all know the mess it's in currently and the problems that constantly plague the state. I think it had something to do with the Cosmopolitan and Seventeen magazines that came to my house each month, shoving down my throat svelte teenage girls and muscular teenage boys having fun playing volleyball on the beach and attending great parties. So, if I could move to California, I could have fun like that too. And be thin like that. And have a boyfriend like that. Don't judge me.



In my mid teens, I looked at Univ of California You-Name-It. Too expensive. Too far. Blah. Well then, graduate school and/or a job could be in California. I'd graduate from a PA university, then move to California.



Then a magical thing happened. I met and fell in love with a boy whose was also born and raised in Western Pennsylvania. And he was perfectly happy staying in Western Pennsylvania. Well, HOT DAMN, so was I. Cali-what? Never heard of the place.

We both attended and graduated from a Western Pennsylvania university, got married, moved into a house aboutthisfar from where hubby grew up, and worked in (you guessed it!) Western Pennsylvania. By this point California was very, very far from my mind. We were making our lives here and I was very happy.

In September of 2007, we had our son, J. He will be a born and bred Western Pennsylvania boy.

A few night ago, I sat in the grass in the backyard watching J and M play. I glanced around at the trees and the hills. Good ole' Pennsylvania. And then I glanced around at what was closer to me - the barn where we've just recently started a collection of animals, the pond where we swim and play, our house that we love, the swingset where Jack love to swing 'as high as the sky' as he giggles uncontrollably, and a yard that allows our son to run and play.

This is our Pennsylvania. This is our life. There is no where we'd rather be. Our family's roots run deep in Western Pennsylvania, and now M and I are adding and spreading out those roots further.

I expect the day to come that one of my children will say, "Mom, it's so BOOOOORING around here. I can't wait until I grow up and move away." And I'll go pack their bags. And my heart will hurt a little. But, deep down I'll know that this region will ALWAYS be his home and his heart.

Last evening, three teenagers from our area were involved in a car accident just a few miles from my home. One was ejected from the car and killed, one was life-flighted to a Pittsburgh hospital with severe injuries and the other had minor injuries, but refused treatment. I didn't know any of the three boys or their families.



But my heart still wept when I heard the news. Not only because a young life was senselessly snuffed out. Not only because a mother has to bury her son. Not only because this boy's young friends will have to see someone their age in a casket, and realize, maybe for the first time, that life is fleeting and death is final.



My heart wept because I have a child.



A child that, though only 2 and a half now, will grow. And at some point in time, he'll tell me he's a man, when he's really just a boy in a man's body.



He will grow, and he will continue to test his boundaries. He'll see how far, how fast, how much of the world he can conquer.



He will remember what his parents taught him. Responsibility. Kindness. Common sense. Safety. Self-respect.



But friends. Friends that push at weak points. Friends that can fuzz the common sense. Friends that make you forget to be kind, forget to be safe, forget to respect yourself. But boy, those friends can be alot of fun.



And then they get in a car. Or they find themselves in a bad situation. And they get silly. And their testosterone starts. Faster. Faster. Don't slow. Don't stop. And then the lights go dark. Phone calls are made. People cry.



My boy, my sweet baby boy, will one day be old enough to drive. To go to college. To make his own decisions. And then he is truly free. No matter how much I scream, yell, threaten, cajole, praise, or bribe: at some point I have to sit back and hope that everything I have taught that child will be remembered and heeded.

My heart weeps because I know that not everything I taught will be remembered or heeded. And I hope and I pray that my son's decisions will not be life altering or life ending. I hope and I pray that J's 'bad' choices will be road bumps, not roadblocks. But, in the end, children must make their own decisions. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. And that is life.


And my heart weeps because I have no control over it.

Pizza Party

Last Friday night we ordered out for pizza for dinner. We ate, and the rest of the pizza (about 8 slices) was left on the kitchen counter (thanks to hubby forgetting) all night. I wake up the next morning, and think to myself, "mmm, pizza for breakfast. Exxxcelent!" (a'la Mr. Burns from the Simpsons).

So I meander downstairs. No pizza box to be found. Oh, I think to myself, M must have put the rest of the pizza on a plate in the fridge. How sweet of him to think of that.

Nope. No pizza in the fridge.

M is in the shower. I go in for the sneak attack. "Where the hell is the pizza?" I yell.

M: What pizza?

Me: Uhhh, the leftover pizza from last night.

M: You ate most it. I ate the last two pieces this morning for breakfast.

Me: I didn't eat any pizza. I wanted pizza for breakfast. ::Doing quick math in my head:: Well, it was a 16 cut pizza. We had 8 slices between the 3 of us for dinner last night and you ate two this morning. So where's the other six slices?

M: I don't know. But there was a piece of cheese from the pizza on the kitchen table.

I walk out to the living room and ask Jack if he ate pizza this morning.

"Yeah!"

Me: "Uh-huh. And did you share with Bandit?"

J: "Yeah!!"

Me: "Did you eat about, ohhh let's say . . . SIX slices of pizza?"

J: ::Apparently doing the math in his head:: "YEAH!!"

Me: "So you had a pizza party without me?"

J: "Yeah." ::Shrugs his shoulders::

Me: "And how did you get up to the counter?" (I already know the answer).

J: ::Points to the dishwasher and shrugs his shoulders:: (He opens the dishwasher and stands on the door to reach stuff on the counter all the time.)

I tell M that Jack and Bandit apparently had a pizza party without us. M says that explains why the dog wasn't hitting at his bowl this morning and why J didn't want anything for breakfast. Ha, no freakin' kidding! Six slices of pizza between a 30 lb boy and a 70 lb. dog is alot! It also explains why J brought at least 2 capri suns up to my bedroom for me to open around 6am.

This whole scenario still makes me laugh out loud and reminds of what kind of a nuthouse our household is sometimes. And I love every minute of it!

J vs. The Kid

Tonight J and I met my parents for dinner and then we walked to the play area at the mall. J was happily playing for a good 20 minutes or so when he had a run-in with The Kid.

The Kid looked to be about 3 and was a little bigger than J. J was just starting to climb up the steps of the big climber when The Kid showed up out of nowhere. He began to push J out of the way and off the steps. I started walking that direction, afraid that The Kid was going to push him completely off the steps, causing J to get hurt.

I had no need to fear. J held on tight and gave The Kid the death stare. The Kid didn't back down and started pushing more forcefully. Just as I was about to suggest to The Kid that he let J finish going up the steps, J had had enough.

J slugged The Kid. I stood there, stunned, for a moment. The Kid did too. Then, The Kid gave him another hard push, so I picked up J and placed him at the top of the steps.

I should mention that I have a little bit of an anger issue when it comes to kids bullying other kids. So, I may or may not have purposely made surel one of J's feet landed on The Kids' hand when I put him down. I know, I know, I'm immature.

I am very proud of my little man. He gave The Kid several chances to back down and not be a jerk, but The Kid persisted. So, J gave him what was coming to him. I would also like to point out that The Kids' dad had a few words to say to his son. I like to think it was "You let that little 2 year old punk rough you up." But, it was probably more along the lines of "Be nice and don't push people."

I hope J always has the strength to stand up for himself - not necessarily with physical force, but with his actions. Whether it be The Kid, drugs, alcohol, sex, politics, or religion (among alot of other stuff), I hope J holds himself to a higher standard and sticks by his own beliefs. As long as he stands true to himself, he could never dissapoint me.

Giving Thanks

I can't believe Thanksgiving is here again already. I feel old saying it, but time really does go faster the older you get. I am thankful for so much this year:

1) My health. It sounds simple, but if you don't have your health, you don't have nuthin'. I am so thankful for my strong body and mind. Although, a body with a few less pounds would be appreciated too. There have been so many young people that I know of who have struggled with cancer and other diseases, and some who have even succumbed to their illness. Being able to get out of bed on my own accord and live and enjoy life is a blessing that I cherish.

2) My family. I am so thankful to have a loving, supportive family. There are so many people who do not have a close relationship with their parents and siblings. I am so lucky to have wonderful parents who love me and support me and the decisions I make. They may not like all the choices I make or things I do, but they love me despite, and in spite of, those choices. I talk to my mom almost every day and visit with my parents often. I am so grateful for the sister I have and the relationship we have. There is something magical about having someone else who grew up the same way you did and knows almost everything about you - past and present.

3) My husband. M is my best friend. Like I told him at his birthday party, there is no one else I would want to walk through this life with. He is my strength, my confidante and my balance. M and I are always 'opposite' in thinking when it counts. We will share our opposing viewpoints with each other, take time to ourselves, then reconvene. At that point, our viewpoints changed to the opposite. haha! We put ourselves into each others' shoes. Sometimes it makes for difficult decision making, but we definitely see each others' 'point'. I am so grateful to my husband for his support and love of me.

4) My job. Being a stay at home mom is the hardest, most frustrating best job ever. Even though the day to day housework and tasks are mind numbing at best, being able to see J grasp something I taught him and watching him learn and grow makes my heart burst with happiness. My heart hurts for the women who want to stay home, but can't because of financial issues. And because of that reason, it gives me the energy and the drive to volunteer in the community. As a stay at home mom, I have make the time to give to the community I live in, since many other adults cannot due to work schedules. Although I may not agree with Hillary Clinton on political issues, I will agree that "it takes a village to raise a child".

5) My husbands job. This may sound like a silly thing to be thankful for, but in the economy we are currently living in, I am very thankful. Not only am I thankful he has a job, but that he has a job he loves.

6) My son. Where do I even begin? I am so thankful to have a healthy, smart, active, willful, handsome boy that I love with all my being. Dealing with the terrible twos has had me in a tizzy lately. It can be so easy to forget how THANKFUL I am for him when I'm thinking about putting him in a box with FREE written in permanent ink and then placing said boy-in-box on the front porch for the first sucker taker.

Then I remember the kids who will never walk or talk. The kids whose parents would be DELIGHTED if their kids got paint everywhere while painting a picture or dumped their milk on the floor in a sign of defiance. The kids who may never walk out of the hospital. And I think of the parents who go to bed every night praying that their child will make it through the night to live another day. And the couples who can't get pregnant, and if/when they do, they lose the baby.

Remembering those things reminds me of how lucky I am to have the child I do.

J keeps me grounded. He doesn't care what kind of house we live in, what kind of car I drive, what my hair looks like, or where we go on vacation. He just wants to be loved and hugged and kissed and taken care of.

I love J's confidence. I know he's only 2, but he doesn't care if he's the only one running around in a diaper. He doesn't care if he's the only one not wearing a costume at the Halloween party. He's his own person.

I love our snuggle time. J has been been sporadically taking naps, so I have instituted 'snuggle time' as a way to get a few minutes of downtime. Snuggle time consists of me saying it is snuggle time, Jack running into the office to grab one of our soft, fleece blankets and he and I snuggling on the couch watching a short video. Sounds simple enough, but at the age of two, snuggle times are getting fewer. It allows me a few sweet, uninterrupted moments of holding him against me, smelling his hair and kissing his head. I know these moments won't last forever. I see them slipping away. And in a way, it makes me happy. He's more confident and independent - exactly what I want him to be. But it also makes me sad to think that a few years from now, snuggle time will be the very last thing J wants to do.

I am so thankful for the healthy, happy child that is mine. And that's what makes all the difference. I have been a nanny, a daycare provider and a babysitter. I have taken darn good care of other people's kids. But those kids weren't mine. Having J was such an eye opener to the responsibility and wonder that is MY CHILD. Whether he becomes a serial killer or a rocket scientist, it comes back on me. And seeing your child do things you do and have a temperment like you do, is scary and wonderful all at the same time.

I love having J in my life. Every morning with him is an invitation to fun, laughter, learning, patience and love. And every night is a hearty sigh, filled with the contentment that we did our best and had fun doing it.

I thank God for all the blessings He has given me this year, and throughout my life. I am thankful for the daily guidance of the Lord, because without Him, it would be a tough row to hoe.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Round II

Well, I guess we weren't as "over" our illness as I previously thought.

J woke up this morning around 6 a.m. and just wasn't himself. He seemed really tired and lethargic and just downright mean, not to mention the 102 fever. Not his usual self (that's usually me at 6 a.m.!) I put him down for a nap around 9:30 a.m. and he slept. And slept. And slept. And slept some more. I woke him up every so often and he'd smile and then go right back to sleep. At 2:30 I was getting worried. I called my husband, called the pediatrician, called my husband back and we were out of the house by a little after 3 pm, headed for Childrens Hospital.

We got there around 4 pm and they checked us in and did all the preliminary stuff. The doctor eventually came back and listened to his heart and lungs and said she didn't think it was pneumonia because there wasn't any crackling when he breathed. But they did X-rays anyways. Which J hated. And then after the X-rays was the blood oxygen check (which is basically just a bandaid wrapped around their finger), which he hated.

And then came the vampires blood lab girls to take blood and insert an IV in case he needed antibiotics intravenously. It took 3 of us to hold him down and one to take the blood. They got him all fixed up with his IV, bandaged it all up with all kinds of splints and plastic stuff that is indestructible to children. But apparently not to my kid. J ripped the whole thing off (IV and all) and threw it on the bed next to him as soon as they walked out the door. Blood was everywhere. Ugh! So, no more IVs for him.

Shortly after, the doctor came back and informed us that there were 'streaks' on the X-ray indicating pneumonia. An hour later, we were out the door with prescription in hand and J asleep in my arms.

Tonight was one of the hardest nights of being a mom yet. Fear that something is really wrong with your child. Anger that the damn nurse had to try TWICE to find the vein while my baby laid there screaming in fear and pain. Impatience at retelling why we were at the hospital 10 million times while we WERE AT THE HOSPITAL. And utter happiness in knowing your child will be okay with an antibiotic and some TLC.

Randomness

Well, J and I have survived what I can only assume to be the plague H1N1. We had all the symptoms except 'occasionally vomiting and diarrhea'(thank heavens). When they say fatigue is a symptom, they aren't kidding! I slept at least 22 out of 24 hours on Saturday. It took everything I had to get off the couch to pee and grab another bottle of water. And just doing that required another nap!

I would just like to thank the people of Pillsbury and Cinnabon for teaming together to make those yummy cinnamon rolls. They are heavenly! It's the only thing I had any desire to eat after not having an appetite for 2 days. And they didn't let me down!

So, with this H1N1 thing, it's a repiratory issue. Kind of like a cold. That really really sucks. Being the good mom that I am, I keep checking J to make sure he's 'still breathing'. Now, please go down this road of morbidity with me . . .

As long as I have been old enough to comprehend things parents do, I understand parents check on their kids to make sure they're still breathing. So if they're breathing - everythings A-ok. And if they're not? They're dead. What are you going to do? Other than call the coroner.

Okay, I just heard everyone gasp. But seriously . . .

Technically, you're checking to see if your children are alive. Or dead.

Of course, like any parent, I still check on J to make sure his head isn't stuck between the bed and the wall, or to ensure the blanket isn't over his face, or to make sure the dog isn't trying to snuff him out so he can be #1 again. You know, the stuff that would ensure he lives to see his 3rd birthday.

But, to be honest, it's the stuff the kid does when he's awake that scares the daylights out of me. By the time bedtime comes, I'm just glad he's in one spot and not doing somersaults off the freakin' kitchen table.

Well, that's all for today. I'm going to check on J and make sure he's still breathing.

Adults Live Here Too

I finally did it! I moved most of J's toys upstairs to his room. I had two bookcases, bins, books, big trucks and more 'stuff' all over my living room. So, I moved the two bookcases and all the miscellaneous trucks upstairs to J's bedroom and the playroom. Now my living room looks (almost) like it did before we had J.

I had been feeling smothered by all the kid stuff for a few months now. It seemed we were forever picking toys and books up. I spent alot of time picking out my decorating style/furniture/etc for my living room when we moved in almost 5 years ago, and the toys and such were overshadowing my hard work!

I think J actually likes not having all those toys downstairs. I kept his favorite books, a small lined basket full of his Tonka trucks, and a few other 'prized' toys he plays with alot in a corner of the living room. Now he can actually find the book he wants without ripping all the books off the shelves (we had over 150 books on the bookcase). I plan to circulate the toys every week or two so he always has 'new' toys to play with downstairs.

And now I'm going to go sit in my 'adult' living room and enjoy how neat and clean and kid-free it is. Well, other than the kid that lives here!

Paper Towels in My Sink

So, J loooves to brush his teeth. Usually he'll spend a good 5 minutes in there just brushing away. Great - can't complain about good dental hygiene! But he almost always manages to do something when he's in there, such as but not limited to:

a) Put his toothbrush down the sink (this one really, really makes me have to count to 10 to keep my head from exploding)
b) "Washing" things that aren't washable in a sink
c) And putting things (washcloths, paper towels, bath toys)above the drain that stop water from going down the drain, and thus causing water to nearly overflow.

Thankfully, J runs out to find me (if I'm not there) as soon as he realizes he's caused trouble.

Yesterday we went to Pittsburgh to see the Nina and the Pinta, recreations of Columbus' ships, which was really neat to see. By the time we went on the 2nd ship, J was pretty much done learning about history. So, he and I took a walk along the river towards the city while the rest of the group finished looking at the ships. Jack was leading and he kept pointing way ahead of us. At first I thought it was the bridge. Nope. Ducks? No. The boat? Nah.
Finally, I asked where exactly we were going. J points toward downtown (which is a good mile (or two) away.
"Um, you want to get something to eat?" I guessed (it was 12:30).
J nods profusely, "Yeah!".
"Where do you want to go?"
J points to the skyscrapers again.
"J, we can get there faster by driving."
J immediately does an about-face, points towards the direction we came from, nods and takes off speed walking. The boy was hungry!

Today J and I worked on colors (matching the lids of his Dot Art markers to the markers themselves and then he handed me the colors as I asked for them) and then we did his "I Can Spell" book (http://activitymom.blogspot.com/2009/10/spelling-mats.html), followed by our (abstract!)art activity (cotton balls, paper plate, glue and markers). We had a busy day today, but it was a succesful, fun day!

Busy Day and Binoculars

Today we had playgroup. J had alot of fun (as usual). The craft for today was binoculars (toilet paper tubes, covered in construction paper). He loves them! Usually he isn't interested in craft time at playgroup (too many toys to play with!), but today he loved it!

Also at playgroup today was an interesting discussion on the H1N1 vaccine. It was interesting to me who got the vaccine for their kids and who didn't and their reasons.

Tonight we went out to dinner with friends and Jack had a great time flirting with the hostess (we were sitting close to the front door). It was so funny because he had been smiling and batting his eyelashes at the hostess. Then our waitress came over and was talking to him. He literally brushed her off and then pointed to the hostess, like 'move out of the way waitress, you're ruining my mojo'. I think he's going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older!

Talk Already Would Ya!!

J doesn't talk. At all. By age 2, most kids are easily using at least 40-50 words. I have heard J say about, ohhh, 10. But he always lets you know what he wants/needs and answers your questions/requests, and can follow 3 and 4 step directives. The pediatrician isn't worried, and neither am I. I just figure he'll talk when he's ready, but I try nonetheless.

I have tried withholding things to get him to use his words. He just shrugs and walks off.

I have tried getting him to watch my lips and repeat what I say. He laughs.

But I think I have found his weakness: my 'stupidity'.

Yesterday we were looking at one of those Discovery Kids books that has all kinds of pictures in it. Usually J points to stuff and I name it and then I'll name stuff and he'll point to it. Yesterday this was what happened:

J points to a picture of a cat.
Me: Oh, that's a mouse.
J looks at me like I'm insane and shakes his head no.
Me: I'm sorry. Silly mommy. That's a horse.
J shakes his head no.
Me: Oh. Well, if it's not a horse, and it's not a mouse than what is that Jack?
J: Ca
Me: Oh, a cat! You're right!

We played the same 'game' again with the dog picture (he said daw). Then he caught on to what I was doing and reading time was over.


Today I built J a tent using the kitchen table. He thought that was really cool. So did I. I have been waiting for him to be old enough to appreciate the blanket tent and it's funness and goodness. I tried when he was closer to a year old, and I quickly became bored when, for the 10th time, J pulled the blankets off the table and rolled all over them.

Today we also practiced putting nuts onto screws (fine motor skills). J has a hard time getting the nut onto the bottom of the screw, but once it's started he does pretty well. He easily recognized which nut went with what screw (the screws were 3 different sizes).

Oh, and on another note, we met my cousins' baby for the first time tonight. N is almost 4 months old and I was holding him when we were getting ready to leave. I asked J if we should take baby N home with us. "Noo!" came the reply with alot of head shaking. When asked who should take the baby home, he pointed to the baby's mom and nodded. Guess he's not ready for that sibling yet.

Which is good, cause neither am I!! haha

Is that a sack of potatoes? Nope, just a kid sleeping in the shopping cart . . .

I was just reading another website I frequent, and someone was saying how their kids (preschoolers) go to sleep on their own, in their own beds. The mom had worked on this since they were born (putting them in their own bed, putting them down while they were still awake, etc). But, she says she wonders if the joke is on her because her kids won't sleep anywhere but in their own beds (not even in the car), meanwhile she sees other kids sleeping while their moms shop/eat out, etc.

I admit: I'm the mom with the sleeping toddler in the shopping cart.


Since before he was born, Mike and I had decided that we didn't want our kid to have a dyed-in-the-wool, can never be changed schedule. Our lifestyle isn't 'scheduled'. Although I'm a very organized, list-making maniac (I make lists of lists I have to make), overall our life is pretty much a crapshoot. haha We like to go out to a late dinner and go grocery shopping around 9 or 10 pm some nights. We like to sleep late and have lazy mornings. I like to pick up and go out to lunch/shopping/for a walk in the park on a whim.

We have always dragged J along with us. He can sleep through the dog barking, kids screaming, and the phone ringing while sleeping in the car, in his stroller, in his own bed, or even in a shopping cart. We rarely plan around naptimes or bedtimes. J just sleeps when he's tired. Some days we sleep in until 10a.m, other days we are up at 7a.m. Some days we have breakfast at 11a.m., sometimes it's at 8a.m. Sometimes we go to bed at 1 a.m., but most of the time it's 9ish.

J goes with the flow and is a happy, healthy child. It has worked for us, although I know other people think I'm crazy for not having a schedule (they've even said so!!). One mom I know who asked for advice on how to get a baby on a schedule. I told her I wasn't a good person to ask! lol However, she did become a scheduled mom and it works for her and her child wonderfully.

HOWEVER (here's the disclaimer), I would like J to put himself to sleep in his own bed without me laying with him. But someday he will. For now, I'll enjoy laying with him and snuggling while he dozes off into dreamland.

Time Warp

J is now 2, and with it comes the dreaded double edged sword question: To nap or not to nap?

We are smack dab in between nap=staying up until 11pm or 12am vs. no nap=cranky by dinnertime and in bed by 7 or 8pm. And the days he doesn't nap, he makes it up for the apparent lack of sleep by napping the next day.

I'm just not sure what the best course of action is. I guess we'll just feel it out as we go, but some days it's maddening trying to figure out which is the better course to take.


On another note, I hope everyone voted (or will vote) today, despite the fact that were no 'big' elections. Regardless of whether you're Democrat, Republican, Independent or a big purple dinosaur, your vote still counts and you are still voting for people that will represent you.

And don't forget to take your little ones with you. A pain in the butt to drag them to the polling place? Yes. Absolutely. But the educational aspect and process of voting is a simple 'teach by example' moment for even the youngest of babes.

Making a U-Turn

After catching up on some of my favorite blogs, I have decided to come back to my own blog and develop it into what it was destined for from conception - a quick, handy, (hopefully) daily 'journal' of being a mom. It's for my own enjoyment, but I hope others can get something out of it too.



So, here it is November and I feel like I'm finally getting back into my groove. J and I are back into our daily routine of having time set aside for a learning activity and a craft activity.



Our craft today was cutting colored paper (cardstock) into scraps and then gluing said paper onto white cardstock. We practiced our colors, cutting skills, and glue management. If you have kids, you know what glue management refers to.



Our learning activity was me showing J a flash card with a color (red, yellow, blue, green). He would find the corresponding colored clothespin and drop it into a glass jar. This was the first time we played this game (usually we clip the clothespins onto the cards themselves), and although the first round went slow, we 'raced' to see how fast we could fill up the jar the 2nd round.



My favorite Mom moment of the day: Jack and I were playing with Play-Doh. I was ready to clean up but he resisted, so I said he could play for another few minutes. We had lunch and then got busy doing other stuff and I totally forgot about the Play-Doh until close to dinner time. I go to the table expecting to find hardended Play-Doh rocks, but all the Play-Doh was put back in the containers. As I glance around to see if my husband came home early and cleaned it up, or hey, maybe the dog really is gifted, I realize that my little man cleaned it up and even matched the right color play-doh to the right color container!

It's the small things that make me smile - and make me proud!!